I'm an introvert. Can I find love, too?

4:05 PM

You'd think that today -- when hiding behind a screen is the norm -- being an introvert would not come with the outdated stigma attached to it. Like, why is it so far-fetched to not have everyone fighting for IG spotlights?

Being introverted still is shunned though, like bootleg jeans: "Why are you so quiet?" "It's those quiet ones you'll have to watch." "You should get out more." These questions are still annoying as hell. Ask any introvert. 

And for those who still don't know what it means to be introverted, it doesn't mean shy. Let me type that again: BEING INTROVERTED DOES NOT EQUAL SHYNESS.  

It also doesn't mean we want to be alone all damn day (just most of the day!). Liking to deal people in person as an introvert is a maybe; for me it depends on how much food is involved. But I am here to tell you that you don't have to like people to like companionship. The secret to finding a bae? Find an introverted bae! Here's how:

Play a game. (Because the last thing you want to do when seeking the one is to play games.) Words With Friends, the new Scrabble, is a non-threatening way to meet people. Not only will you not have to pretend to like those pointless getting-to-know-you banter (think: what's your name, what's your sign, like Biggie would have asked, although I never thought of him or any entertainer as an introvert), you will meet someone with something else in common, spelling! 

During my time on "A Plenty" I went to dinner with met some obnoxious mofos, who texted to instead of too, too damn much. I'm pretty sure an online game of Words would have saved me the trouble of meeting those bums IRL. How in the world would I even eat a spelling-challenged mofo who couldn't read a menu? I tried that before, remember? Just scroll down to the part about "Then there was a nice, country man,"

Step away from the sista circle. Since you don't really like circles anyway, don't let anyone invite you to join one. I don't know any woman who has met anyone while being surrounded with a crew of chicks. "I was with Kim, Michelle, Janet, LaShawn, her girl Lou, and my cousin when Mr. Right walked up to me..." Naw! Never happens. 

Don't change who you are. There are a bunch of "authors", "dating coaches" and No-teps (*sigh*) ready to tell a woman how being herself isn't enough. Yes the hell it is. This means if you are happy with not slaying past your front door, or if being busy is code for I can't do social today, that's okay! So be yourself. Because, would you want anyone who isn't being their authentic self? Exactly. 

Let Phyllis Hyman remind you to stay as you are:

So get out there for a few minutes. You won't even have to sit down, because, if you're lucky, they wouldn't want things to move that fast anyway.

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  1. Yes.. This is so true and I can totally relate and I am full blown introvert. I often push myself to be seen thinking I'm working on breaking myself out of this. I end up finding myself being miserable and unhappy being something that I am not. Why is this, why do we do this? Well I stopped and just focusing on me being me. Much more happy and at piece this way.. Thanks for sharing. Such a cool reminder cause yes, I have love =) Married for 9 years and we have 3 daughters. Yaay!! #TeamIntrovert

    1. Thanks for stopping by. Congrats on your family and for giving hope to all the introverts of the world.

      Just watched your video on how to start a tee shirt biz, and it further proves my point that shyness is not the same as introversion. :)

  2. I am an introvert! It can be challenging! I try to mingle as much as my introvertedness allows me to. But, honestly I've tried playing the games, online dating, actually meeting someone out in public; exchanging phone numbers. But, none of which has resulted in a long term situation that evolved in the direction I stated from the beginning of meeting them. I'm just glad to know there are others that are like me, I can put my mind at ease and know I'm not crazy or strange. I'm simply ME!