Divorced And Happy...My Marriage Is Over

12:41 AM

Weeks later, we still weren't talking to one another. I was tired of always being the first one to give in, get him to see where we were both wrong, apologize and move on. He said he changed; it was his time to show me. But he never did.

Then I received horrible news. My friend, a girl I used to dance and hang out with at alternative rock concerts was dead. She was attending a birthday party at a club we used to work at when a guy managed to her set up. While she was trapped in the back seat of a car, he jumped in and stabbed her several times in the chest. She jumped out after him, stunned, but fell face down on the Georgia Avenue pavement. She was pronounced dead a few hours later.

I cried for weeks. What made it worse though, is that my husband continued to ignore me. As a matter of fact, he stepped it up a notch. While I wasn't speaking to him, I still cooked, cleaned and went on with household duties. One Sunday though, I made enough meals to last him a week; instead of eating what I fixed him, he walked in the kitchen and made a bowl of cereal. Then he told our son to go ahead and make himself a sandwich. Like I spent all that time preparing meals for them! He knew it was for them because I was a vegetarian and everything I made had meat in it.

Sick and tired of the pettiness, I asked him if we could talk. In the room alone, I asked him why he didn't comfort me after I told him Candance was dead. He spitted, "you weren't talking to me, so..." then he shrugged his shoulders. I felt all the air leave my lungs. I was beyond hurt. When he left the room, I thought about the entire week of mourning. He had asked me how Candance died and who killed her. But he never asked if I was ok. He remained in the living room laughing at the tv, playing video games, ignoring me. I know I was wrong for the silent treatment but I didn't deserve this. Then I remembered the issue with the flat tire and it hit me. He hadn't changed. He can't possibly love me.

That day, I made plans to move out and when I told him, he tried to explain "his side of the story". I told him I couldn't; I needed peace. I didn't have the emotional strength to live like this, mourn my friend's death AND deal with the guilt I was feeling. I explained once he finished individual counseling, we can do marital counseling and talk about moving back in together. I moved out December 20th.

Two days later, I was in the er with stroke-like symptoms. They found nothing on the CAT scan nor the spinal tap, but once they heard what was stressing me, they suggested I remain as calm as possible to keep my blood pressure down. My husband was in the er room when the doctor said that. When the doctor left, he held my hand and cried silently. To this day, I don't think he knows that I heard him cry.

But, it didn't matter. Once he dropped me to my apartment, he called to check on me maybe 2-3 times. He never stopped by. By February, he told me he wasn't going to help me pay my bills. Then he swindled me out of $200. In April when I asked him his intentions, he said, "as far as I'm concerned, I'm done. It's over. It's a wrap."

Someone later told me he thinks "he found a girl he wants to marry." They're still together now.

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