Divorced And Happy...How I Ruined My Marriage

11:40 PM

Today marks exactly three months since I've been divorced. The ninja didn't tell me the paperwork was in until mid-January, but nevertheless, the judge finalized everything December 4, 2014. Let me explain how we got there.

After two years, things went back to "normal". For us, that meant his narcissistic tendencies returned But this time, I wasn't playing the game. When he played the martyr, I called him on it. When he yelled and screamed accusations, I CALMLY explained my viewpoint. And he didn't know what to do. That wasn't the reaction he was accustomed to and I could tell. He walked around the house fuming but I continued to remain at peace.

During this time, we got along great in front of family and friends. They all still thought we were the perfect couple. They even say it today, "y'all made such a great team." Whatever.

But, during the spring of 2013, our son got sick. He's supposed to be gluten free but we'd let him indulge every once in a while. That once in a while turned into often since he told us he felt fine. Then one day, I noticed a bald spot in his head. Over a few days, it got pretty large so I took him to a dermatologist. Long story short, no one knew what it was so I spent months trying to diagnose it. I scoured the internet during the day and cried at night. I couldn't function. All I did was worry about my boy.

None of the doctors concluded it was due to the wheat he ate, but once I removed it from his diet, his hair grew back. Then football season started. He played a number of positions but on the first play of the game, he was the running back. The line failed to block and a boy twice his size knocked him on his back for a loss. The padding from his helmet had slipped out and after taking him to the specialist, he was diagnosed with a concussion. So again, all I could think about was my son. I had completely ignored my husband for six months. I just cried and perused the internet wondering how I could make it better for him.

I had scheduled a half marathon/romantic vacation to Puerto Rico. I promised my husband that it was there that we'd rekindle our marriage. I promised him I would. I knew I had been slipping and I was prepared to pull out all the tricks to make him feel wanted. I had even reserved us a suite at the Ritz Carlton in VA upon our return.

However, our vacation didn't go as planned. He barely spoke to me. And if we held hands, it was because I grabbed his. And that was unusual. He spent the ENTIRE time on his cell phone. Even my sister commented that it appeared he was on vacation with a buddy. He usually posts pics of the both of us, telling Facebook how much fun WE'RE having. We took one picture together and he never posted it.

When we got to the Ritz, he powered up his laptop. I took a shower and rubbed up against him like I usually do. He ignored me. I fell asleep.

When I woke up, I didn't speak to him. He could tell I was pissed so when we made our way back to Charlotte, he never attempted to talk to me. I told myself, "let's see how much he changed. I want to see if he'll make the first move and reconcile."

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