The forehead kiss

3:38 PM

In my quest to keep my legs closed this year (stop laughing, please!) I offered via text a show of affection with a forehead kiss. Dude replied with "do you mean a kiss on your chest?" I blank stared my iPhone to death. 

Because clearly, my forehead and my tits are one in the same. SMH *insert blank stare again*

But he just don't understand, when things are adorable and sweet, the forehead kiss is there. It's just enough affection to show how much you care, just enough to prove how cute I am.

But I ain't cute. I'm a strong black woman who is a sex goddess. So forehead kisses mean nothing, right? So wrong. I'm here for the forehead kiss all day long. Imma ride for the innocent head game, where I keep my clothes on and take my place in what is now a new normal for my body. (Excuse me while I blow away the cobwebs...)

The forehead kiss. Unlike those hoes, it's loyal. Always right on time and never hurtful. Softens the blow of the friendzone. It makes the boo-boos -- seen and unseen -- go away. Scraped my knee when I fell off a bike when I was nine. Watched an ex break up with me because "he heard" I was cheating (no comment) at 19. The forehead kiss was there for it all. Thank you for being a friend. 

...and if you threw a party, invited everyone you knewwwwww...*snaps fanga*

The forehead kiss. No experience required. Don't worry about getting it right, like a braggadocio Valentine's Day gift or some bomb fellatio. (This doesn't mean that I no longer give these things.) How can you mess up a forehead kiss? You can't miss the forehead; you only need a part of it, not the whole area. One peck in the middle and you're done. Pow. 

The forehead kiss. I can remind myself of what's to come. I can continue to allow my nasty imagination run wild in my head, while getting kissed on the head. If a man can change the course of life with a plant of his lips where the sun DOES shine, I can only wonder where else he can bring happiness 'n shit. 

You ever hear a chick complain, and be like, "Gurl, that kiss on my forehead was too close to my brows, honey!"? Hell naw. So don't go dissin' the forehead kissin', yo. 

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