Still gotta eat

12:22 PM

Table for one won't kill you either...

"You're here by yourself?"
"Would you like some company?"

Good gravy; if I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard these things... 

No worries because I now realize that being a third wheel/5th wheel ain’t a big deal. I only used to feel some type of a way…because others have. Oh, society! 

And screw you, South. You take group think to a whole ‘nother level anyway. 

To think that eating and drinking uncoupled means there is something wrong with me is ludicrous. I still have to eat. And drank. And marry myself in a wedding ceremony that should have ended up on the TLC Network, yes? 

I think Yasmin Eleby (click here in case you've missed it) is narcissistic as hell, but I have to blame society for telling the poor lady that she must be married by the time she turns 40. (Instead of telling her she's a good-looking curvy chica who will be just fine, be it single or married.) 

Is this part of what’s wrong with being a Black woman though? That there really is no one else to marry? No, but what does her story suggest about the state of affairs in terms of healthy African-American relationships, or the lack thereof? That to avoid having an unhealthy relationship and to keep from having a home where the father is MIA, Imma marry myself? (Yanno, many of our socio-economic and educational issues stem from living in homes where the father is absent. Hey, I’m just the messenger.)

Or maybe the cry for self love ain’t that deep, and it’s about nothing more than a broken woman who wanted a wedding. That’s honestly how I see it. Eh, at least she looked nice. But look: I am not giving single women the okay to join The Knot, seek out hotel ballrooms or Veteran Halls to book some weddings. 

If you’re one of the women who must be married *sigh*, eff it. Go ‘head and do it, with a spouse. The men are out there. I don’t care what anyone says. 

Maybe they are Googling at the wrong stats, the ones that say most Black women won’t get married. How about… according the US Census 2010 89 percent of Black men who are (were) married, married a sista?  And that in 2013 the Census estimated that 14.1 percent of the total American population of 316.1 million is Black (source: To toss in a bit of common knowledge, some of us will date outside the race. Shiiiiiiiiii…that is a lot of peen. 

And some want to spend the rest of their days with a woman; I simply suggest they find a state where same-sex marriage is cool and call it a day.

Having typed this stuff, how is it that any Black girl can feel hopeless when it comes to finding love? 

But enough of giving the hopeless hope, because I’m gonna be okay if I never get married. And I’m barely over 40. 

I get it by the way; I’m in another minority group, the group where women like me (Black or otherwise) are truly okay and not just saying we are. The rest of y’all need prayer if you think you must be a Mrs. 

Not for nothing, this is why Lifetime’s “With this Ring” was well received over the weekend. It's not far from some of you people’s sad truth: y’all must be married, no matter what, regardless of how miserable life may be in that rushed marriage. Child bye...

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