It's never too cold to be single

12:57 PM

We get it...it's brick out there.
The temperature is a nipple-rising nine degrees as I type this. The wind chill is negative one but really, who gives a eff about that? Look, when it's below 40 degrees, cold is cold. Period. Anytime I have to cross my toes together and lay in the fetal position at the same damn time, it's cold enough for me.

I hope that when it's time, I will have my bout with hot flashes during this time of year. Dear menopause...I don't mind getting sweaty on or before my 55th birthday...January, yo!

My finger tips are mad at me; they want to rejoin the rest of my body under the covers. And yeah, it's just my body. And my body of work stored on three drives.

I know..."where your man at?" Do I have to explain how this works again? He's not in my back pocket.

I won't lie though: rubbing noses, legs, *cough* his dick  would warm things up for sure. Whoever thought being in a relationship would cure boo season stress is tripping.

This is why I don't get the recent surge in online dating inquires I am seeing in social media. Well, I do get it: being single and happy gets old for most. But I don't know if folks truly understand what they are asking for.

Newsflash: You can be in a relationship and still be lonely! A commitment won't guarantee anything.

Right now...I am warm, yet cold. But I am prepared to survive the imperfections that come with being with the perfect guy. It takes being realistic to get here. So far I have learned:

That good man might not be emotionally available, to the point where you cannot explain to him what "emotionally available" freaking means.

That great woman? Has five chrirren and just adopted a damn cat to keep the mice away.

That perfect scenario of two people cuddling in front of the fireplace can easily be invaded by an emergency phone call from work, a text message from an "old friend" or a mouse. Smh

You're cold and lonely. I get it. I still get it unfortunately. But it ain't smart to hook up for the sake of keeping warm. Next spring you will be looking for the next outdoor event weekend smoking. I hear Maryland's Caribbean Wine Fest is a winner.

So get layered up if you can't get laid up today. Your sanity and low tolerance for sober people will thank you.

And in related news: Quit rushing to the freaking altar! If you cannot celebrate your fab life with the one who puts a smile on your face before marriage is even a possibility, then marriage won't be a possibility. Folks act like marriage turns someone into a supernatural being. If anything, folks oftentimes degrade into something much worse. It is for this reason that I am taking my time with this thing...it's not a sprint. It's not even a marathon. It's a helluva journey.

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