One fried bologna sammich with a side of BS, please

5:52 PM're welcome.
Oh, you wanted it fried? My bad.

By now, everyone has heard or read of the writer who is slapping her way into a marriage. Sounds pleasantly kinky, right?  By slapping, I mean slapping bread, veggies and meats together -- don't forget the honey mustard and some cheese, please. By the sarcastic tone you're already seeing as I write, you already know I'm calling bullshyt on it all. In fact, on Thursday's Today Show, the day in which the woman has reached sandwich number 176 (the prime rib one is his fave so!) she said it was a joke.

It would have been cool if dude dropped down on one knee on live television, but it's all a joke, remember? *wink*

But, let's say the NY-based couple can be dead serious with the culinary request here: he won't get on one knee until he stuffs himself with his 300th sandwich made "with love" from his overly-eager Stepford-wife-in-training. Let's say this is a legitimate request from the alpha male and that feminism is overrated. I still ain't riding with it.

While I have heard "Baby if you keep doing that right there, Imma marry you!" several times -- usually during or after sex *takes bow* I have zero plans on imitating my journalistic sister (who writes for what I consider the oldest rag in the country, The Attention-Whoring New York Post, a news outlet I've had a major issue with since 2003. That's another story for another book though.). Here is why you'll never catch me doing anything just to get a damned ring:

Where will it end?
Today it's 300 sandwiches for a ring. Tomorrow it's 300 casseroles for a kitchen makeover. What about if I want to renovate the whole house? I can only imagine what 300 sucks you-know-where would get me. 

The dating game is not a real dating game.
It's bad enough that some men treat dating in 2013 like it's a competition. (I've actually had men pretty much tell me that I am competing. Where are the cameras? Can I plug my 'ish at least?) Do we need any more Flavor Flavs, Ray J's or any of the leading men from the Bachelor?

Make your own damned sandwich, that's why!
Angela Davis did not fight for us to serve food for 300 days to our man, so that he might will marry us -- he ain't even your hubby, girl! I'm sick of single women doing back flips during their not-yet-married situations! Trust, it all leads back to singlehood, not a walk down the aisle. At the very least, how about you raise dude a turkey on wheat for a foot massage?

Joke or not, I say it's all a ploy to get a publishing deal and its accompanying reality show. What say you?

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  1. Real Talk, Ladies! Taking your dignity for a ring...sad Chick!

    1. Taking your dignity for a publishing that's different. The writing struggle is real out here! *shrugs*