I don't want to learn how to be a wife. Day 21

3:03 PM

(Shared on FB July 25, 2013)
Greetings, fellow authors, bloggers and social media loudmouths.

I live in a country where half of all marriages here end up in divorce. Death do they part? Not so much.

I live in a state where the Governor has eliminated federal unemployment benefits, which means if I was unemployed and didn't know how to make a dollar out of fifty cents on my own, and if I was approved for benefits prior to January 2013 I would be shyt out of luck today. (Now, one would think being a wife would come in handy in this case, but read on to see why that should be the last thing on a woman's mind.)

How is learning how to be a wife supposed to help here?

Say you teach me something about a man, or about myself (at 40 I should know about both by now!). I do various shyt -- according to what you wrote in your books, blogs or Facebook status -- to keep the man happy and engaged so that he and I would become engaged to each other. What's next? Look the other way when he cheats? No, thank you.

You see, despite the stuh-tiss-sticks that claim black women are the last to marry -- if we marry at all -- I don't want to focus on marriage. I don't think marriage is the goal. It never was a goal, but rather a stop on my journey. While I am open to marriage, to a man, this ain't no open house over here.

I want to build a legacy for my child. And for her children one day. I want that legacy to be decided and divided  on my terms. What kind of a mother would I be if I left all the financial choices to some husband, a person who most likely will cheat and/or leave me? Teach me how to build an empire, dammit.

Teach me how to teach others how to do the same.

That stuff you're sprouting about me, about how I need to change this and fix that, so I can become "wifey" and eventually wife? Yeah, that stuff. Keep it.

Don't bother sharing how marriage is recognized by God. I don't believe He wants us marry, just because. I'd rather learn a new skill, a new profession, not some old ways in "finding" or keeping a man. Please. Go sit down somewhere.

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