Back to online dating: You want me to meet you where? Day 19

7:14 AM

It's been about three months since logging into my account. My fourth date break since 2011 has been nothing short of productive. Finished the book, spent more time in the gym and worked on my long-term plans. Now it's time to -- dare I say it -- meet "the one". Cue some dramatic music from the soaps right about now.

So last week several men contacted me, two of them already met me. What the hell do you want? is all I could think of. One of them turned out to be a pimp. Yes, you've heard that right, a P.I.M.P. Girls, get those full names (ask to see his driver's license because you just "don't believe he's __ years old." Get it?) and visit  to conduct a background check. Facebook is a also a great way to learn more about these dudes, too.

Read more about the pimpin' phool in the book.

Some newbies also contacted me on People, please don't use these dating sites to plug your business. A barber noticed my teeny weeny 'fro and initiated a conversation on some: "Can I cut your hair?" Oooh, a date in his chair. The hell?

Then there seems to be an upsurge in spirituality these days: two men who contacted me talked about how this is their season for God to send them a wife. One claimed to be celibate for two years. Imma use that line.

The other? He was in too much of a hurry to meet in person, to meet "his wife."  He even said he'll love my child. Mofo she is 15 and has a father...she don't need you...who are you?! Mr. Thirsty, that's who. And no he did not text me one morning at 6 a.m.

Mr. Thirsty works two jobs so he offered to meet me in-between shifts...outside a McDonald's parking lot! When I asked if we can at least meet inside, because it rained all weekend, he wasn't having it. "I just thought we could do a meet 'n greet first..."  Welp, I wasn't having it either: no, sir...and lose my number...thanks.

And this was just the first week back on the online dating scene.

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  1. Love it! Consider me officially obsessed with your blog. Looking forward to reading more. I feel your struggle, lol!

    1. Thank you!

      To borrow from Sally Field, she likes me...she really likes me.

      *Stands at the podium with do-it-yourself award.* I went to Michael's.

  2. A McMeet and Greet. What in the world?? lol So funny!

    1. Bawahahahaha. No...THAT ^^^ is funny! ROFL Good one.

  3. Gurl this is hilarious! I have said over and over again these men need some help lol.