Single and Happy...from afar?

10:03 AM

Always looking for a reason to drink...
image credit: fotopedia.com

Business or pleasure...whattup with both? November 6 is almost a week old and I am over decision-making. And those BS campaign promises...the ones found on ___.com, followed by the dreadful "you must be drama-free", as if dude is the best thing since the Galaxy 3. (My brother showed off his new phone the other day and now I'm giving my iPhone the massive side eye!)

Decisions and campaign promises aren't my only gripes. There are always more rants where that came from. I long for the day when my wants aren't shelved, because "it's not my time" or "the stars aren't aligned", or whatever, yo. I mean, when you ask the bartender for another round, he or she happily obliges with no delay. Service with a smile, until you are too blurry to actually see a facial structure. Then you can only guess if he or she is smiling at you or laughing at you.

I wish the rest of the world would catch up with the mixologists though.

Yes, I'm dancing around a subject matter here. Trust, this is something that I've been wanting to write about for weeks. It explains why I cannot bring myself back to the Charlotte dating scene, and why this blog hasn't been popping like it used to be. ( I must say, the Facebook page is on fire though! But, leave it to laziness: if I'm on FB anyway, it's nothing for me to share an image or blast a random thought on the page.)

All I know is that the thought of liking someone who is literally and mentally far away from me is scary. There will be days of temporary satisfaction, when we're together (the feeling is mutual) but there will be other barriers to deal with, barriers that I cannot discuss here for legal reasons. Outside of the law, my career and our zip codes, he and I vibe really well.

I cannot help but to think about the future:  What if we want a relationship one day? What if I leave this life right here and get married one day, and have another child -- who will have a 40-something-year old mom to deal with? What if I reject any of this, and sit around in Charlotte, on bad dates, in front of my blog, at book signings, and wonder "what if I went for it?"

As the elections are finally a wrap, and the holidays loom like a pending transaction in PayPal *sigh* here I am with the life I have dreamed about since moving to North Carolina. But I am also forced to remind myself how love has no room in this life right now.


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