When the GPS doesn't work.

3:11 PM

 



There are some places in this beautiful country in which a GPS is not wanted. Sadly I can tie this into my singledom.

If Bumfuckville has ever been a destination of yours -- and there is only one reason why a Bumfuckville would be a destination...because you have to go to there -- you'll understand why me and the GPS aren't getting long right now. There is one rule for traveling to such a place, and one rule only.

You have to know the land, as a soldier with a horse and bayonet in tow would know it.

I have been to my cousin's house a few times already, but when I tried to GPS his address and drive in the dark? Nothing. And by nothing I mean a goose chase to nowhere. Eventually cuz had to meet me somewhere which placed me five minutes from his house. Yes, I am shaking my head.

Earlier this week I searched blindly online for organizations that promote being single and happy. Ha. Besides Christian singles groups, which are designed to help us lost souls find our spouses, eventually; besides the pro LGBT sites where marriage equality is the overall goal of theirs; and besides those singles travel groups, where the point is to get some in a foreign land, after spending too much money on vacation package (why are theirs so overly priced anyway?), I came up with zilch.

The proverbial road map to dating has burned, too. For starters I have deactivated my profile on ____.com. Apparently folks don't really want to meet you. Oh, you think some fool in GA is checking for me in NC? I'm good but not that good. Nobody is that good without a promise of money or sex.

Even with pushed up boobies I have found myself lost in space with these men from Mars. And yes they all are from Mars, a place where good restaurants and conversations are banned, apparently.

Then there is the guy who is forbidden...

I am only allowed to enter his space for a limited time, and on his terms. Well, I do know the best route to his space, at least. I can find it on my own and enjoy the scenery while there. No GPS needed



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