Single and Happy in Detroit: Love and Everything You Thought it Wasn't - Parts I and II

11:24 AM

(image source: detroitontap.blogspot.com)

So, how exactly do I come back to this blog after last weeks outpouring of (displaced) feelings? Well...I don't come back, not just yet. I shall return next week with more of the funnier, happier SAH stories you are used to reading. Yessir, I am back to dating, eating good too! Speaking of food, Happy Thanksgiving in advance.
Chocolate Aquarius

"Life is funny in that somehow no matter how hard you try you always end up where you told yourself you’d never be and with that one type of person you’d never be caught dead with. Hell if someone had told me that the life I’m writing about today would be the life that I would lead I’d probably die from all the laughter knowing that they obviously didn’t know that I was destined for great things. What I would learn later is that I was in fact destined for things; they just were not destined to be all that great. Hell, in fact they fucking sucked.

All my life growing up I was always attracted to the “bad” boy. You know the one with the cool hip walk, the latest fashion, expensive shoes, pierced ear, packing the metal. I didn’t grow up around this, despite the fact that my parents were teen parents, yet its all I ever seemed to lust after.

The year 2003 would prove to be the breaking point for me in my five year marriage to the man I’d been with for the past 10 years. On February 8th 2003 I moved out our house and in with my parents because by now I was fed up with the direction of our marriage. It was as if marriage had really destroyed the core of who we both were as individuals and collectively as couple. Well, in 2003 mid-summer, Tyrone and I made what would be another failed attempt at salvaging our marriage. We were living in an empty apartment, closing in on 5 years of marriage and still we were not actively trying to have kids. Mind you I’ve seen 5 different doctors by now, had surgery to help with the problem, and he couldn’t even follow through with a simple sperm analysis. So, I packed up my stuff and moved to my parents. I was okay with the decision to leave, but I didn’t want to impede on my parents. So when my girlfriend at work told me that he had gotten approved for this townhouse through her section 8 and that she would split the $484 rent payment with me I jumped on it. I figured it was the perfect thing. It was right off the bus line and I’d have the place to myself because she wouldn’t be staying there with me. At this time Tyrone was also constantly asking me for another chance but I was slow to consider because he was always promising that things would get better.

Well, financially speaking I ended up needing quite a lot, because we were in the early stages of our Chapter 13 and back then we were each paying nearly $500 a piece per pay check. So while I had my freedom it came with considerable costs in the form of eating crow and having to go to the one person I was trying to get away from to seek help. It’s like a story book drama “Um honey, I don’t want this marriage anymore and in order for me to stay away from you I need money towards the rent.” I mean some weeks I didn’t have enough money to buy food to eat or for my bus fare to and from work, and so I called on the one person I knew would help me without bruising my little pride. And help me he did, so much so that we actually formed like a friendship and slowly but surely I found myself loving him like I once did. It was just so funny how I was trying so hard to get away from him to get on with my life, but at every turn I found myself having to turn to him for help.

Anyway during the famous blackout in August, I decided that after having been together for 10 years that is was worth the effort to give it another shot. So I moved back with him the weekend of the blackout. Things were going okay for about a month and then all of a sudden everything just changed. He started coming home extremely late; I mean like in the wee hours of the morning. I would call his phone and he wouldn’t answer. I mean the behavior was just so uncharacteristic of him. Well, like any normal wife I questioned him about this and he explained it away and initially I accepted his explanation. Little did I know ole hubby had taken up a side “hobby” to supplement his income and a side companion too.

So he continued to come home in the wee hours of the night and I continued badgering him about his behavior and it was like he was just blocking me out. Then, right after our anniversary (November 7th) he turned ice cold towards me. It was unbelievable. He started not coming home at all till the next day for just enough time to get ready for work. And all we did was have bitter shouting matches when he did show up. So, I guess he was so appalled by me that he couldn’t even stand the 5 minute ride with me to my job, so he stopped taking me to work and picking me up. I had my suspicions about the cheating and it was obvious since he wasn’t coming home but I had no proof and I also reasoned that it could be because of his “hobby”.

Although he would soon after move out he continued to pay the rent and all the other bills, insisting that I keep my money since I would need it. When he did come to the apartment complex though he would never come up; he would just park his car in front out our unit and walk down to the mailbox to retrieve his mail then leave. However, for some reason, on my mom’s birthday (January 24th) he actually came up. Apparently there were a few things he needed to retrieve. Seeing him was really hard, so hard in fact that I just couldn’t take it so I just asked him flat out why, why was this happening and why was he treating me so bad when we had been on the path of reconciliation, and then without warning I just fell out, I mean I was crying like a baby, on the floor in the bathroom... just crying. Being the person that I knew he was he immediately did what I think most men with any compassion or a heart would do; he consoled and told me that he loved me and that we could make things work. So he went back to the chic’s house got all his stuff and moved back. I felt so relieved and so I was able to go to my mom’s birthday party that night with a heavy load lifted off my shoulders. Sadly this would be, probably the shortest reconciliation on record because it lasted less than 48hours.

The next day he told me that he was going to the laundromat to wash his clothes. In retrospect when I think back I realized how dumb I was not to question that considering the fact we had both a washer and dryer in our apartment. But I took his word for it because I knew from experience that sometimes it took a full day just for one load to dry, but still I realize now that I should have question this. His trip to the laundromat turned into a 24 hour trip.

I turned ice cold towards him too. I guess he begin to realize that he couldn’t really do shit because he was paying all the bills at our apartment when he wasn’t even there so he came by more frequent and only to continue our ongoing arguments about the bills in the house. I stood my ground and refused to pay anything in that house, because like he told me after Christmas: “I needed to start saving my money so that I could move.” I didn’t move out until March 15th and up until that point I didn’t contribute one damn cent to the household bills.

I had heard some horrible things about Lexington of Southfield, but it was close to work and on a bus line that would get me to work at the new location. So one day after work I stopped in their and applied and much to my surprise not only was the place nice, but I was approved and I only had to pay $99 and half of the first month’s rent to move it. That was abosolutely perfect. Finally, I thought the Gods were rescuing me. It would be the first time I lived in a completely furnished house since the early part of our marriage. Once he found out that I had a firm place to go, he came to the apartment more often and each conversation we had was bitter and evil to the core. I mean we said some horrible things to each other and about each other and every time I brought up divorce he kept saying he wasn’t getting “no damn divorce.”

Well, on March 15th I moved in my apartment. I had been going there painting and getting things ready. I had fully furnished every room in the apartment. It was so nice and I was so proud of myself. I was just so glad that I didn’t let my emotional state overpower me and keep me from doing what I knew I had to do. Then, June 4th I graduated with my Associate degree in marketing from Baker College and I was really feeling good then. But in reality all of this was only bittersweet because truth be told I was lonely as hell. I mean try being someone for decade and then all of a sudden you’re by yourself. I started back talking to Keith (my high school sweetheart), but all he was interested in was a physical relationship and all I really wanted was someone to hold me and care and someone to share all my good fortune with. So after a few “dates” with Keith I stopped calling him.

Also at this time Tyrone was coming over to bring my mail from the other apartment. One time in particular when he came over I actually let him in, since on the other occasions he had grown accustomed to peeking through the window. Let me tell you he was pissed. Mad as hell, because as he put it he was struggling to pay rent and bills in an empty place that he wasn’t even staying at while I was living it up in a fully furnished apartment. By now my animosity towards him had cool down and I believed firmly that the two of us could emerge as friends rather than foes. So, I just told him that all that I had could have been his too, but he didn’t want that or me. Of course he brushed that off, but that was the truth.

It was hard to see him because truth be told I still loved that man, but he was convinced that I was the enemy and really there was nothing I could do. Now mind you I never had the proof of the cheating all I had was a phone number of a lady and an address. Then around late June early July my cousin she saw Tyrone’s car parked in the parking lot of this apartment complex off 7 mile. Now this piqued my interest for several reasons, one being that I still had no clue where he was living even though he knew where I lived and secondly because in my mind I just had to know who this person was that he just had to be with. So without a second thought I logged online to cell phone bill to see what address he was using. I knew that although he was technically still a tenant at our old apartment that he would have changed his regular bills like his cell phone to the address where he was living only because he doesn’t like paying bills late. So with address in tow I had my cousin take me to the address. When we pulled up to the apartment building my heart nearly sank to the ground. I felt like a bottle of mixed emotions. When the door opened I saw my husband naked running in the past the door so as not to be exposed by the person at the door, which was me. And before me stood the most ghetto and unattractive woman that I had ever laid eyes on. While I had never really thought of myself as gorgeous or even good looking I did think that I carried myself with a sense of sophistication that made up for lacked in the looks department.

Well after she and I exchanged words I told her that I was there to speak to my “husband”. She closed the door too and seconds later he stood before me embarrassed and angry. He told me I had no business coming there politely turned around went back in and slammed the door. I cried all the way home because it was just something I had never thought I’d really experience. I know I’ve seen that happen before on TV, but this was real life my life. Well the next day, which was a Saturday I get a knock at my door early in the morning around 7. It was Tyrone telling me that because of what I did I got him kicked out and now he has no place to go, because by now the lease had expired at our old apartment and he chose not to renew the lease. So feeling bad, I told him that he could stay with me. He moved all his stuff in that day and I let him sleep on my futon. It was weird the first day because he no longer felt like my husband but rather a stranger. Come late Sunday evening he told me that he and the ghetto chic had patched things up and that Monday after work he would be moving out. When Monday morning came I felt horrible. We drove in silence as he dropped me off at work. The only words spoken was him asking me if I had money to get myself lunch and as was usually the case I did not, so he reached in his pocket and gave me a twenty dollar bill and told me that he would pick me up at 5 so that he could get in to move his stuff back “home”.

While I was okay with how things ended up with Tyrone and I the fact remained I was still lonely. Then out of the blue one day, July 27th to be exact, I was surfing Blackplanet.com and I came across this profile of this white guy who was looking exclusively for black females to chat with. I guess what piqued my interest was the fact that he was bold enough to post that on Blackplanet.com to begin with. Plus, I didn’t see the harm in chatting with someone. So I was bold and I emailed him teasing him about the fact that he a white guy on Blackplanet and from there we just seemed to click.

If you’ve ever had the kind of year in your life where you almost felt like you lived the year in out of body, then I’m sure you can relate to my story. The year is 2006 and this year could in fact go on record as being the liveliest, scariest, saddest and most bittersweet year of my life. Why? Well because is this year alone I went through more men than I have dated in my entire live. And let me tell you the experiences were both shocking and educational. Now I feel like having learned some very serious and valuable lessons, that its my duty as a woman to pass on my knowledge to other women not so they won’t make the same mistakes that I did, but so that they can recognize a bit earlier that they are in fact making a mistake before they end up loosing as much as I did. So here goes nothing.


Part II

Having been off the dating scene since the early 90s I was a bit shocked by how things had changed over the years. Granted I was just 20 when I took myself off the market to get married, but I still never would have imagined that things would change as much as they have. People actually form relationships strictly to just have sex, you now the whole “fuck buddy” bit from Sex and the City, well that’s not a myth it’s the truth. Men no longer pick you up for dates, and I’ll be damn if you think he’s paying every time you do go out. Now to me there is nothing wrong with that. However, I’m still wrapping my mind around the whole, I’m not picking you up bit, because for me its more about ensuring that as your woman I make it home safe and sound, but I guess in hindsight the guy probably feels like: “Who the hell is gonna make sure I get home safe”. The types of men on the market vary just as much as dick sizes do. There’s of course, the aforementioned “Fuck Buddy”. No dates, no gabbing just straight up fucking. Normally a bit of sexual banter occurs prior to the “meet” and once you fuck each other good, all communication ceases until both are ready for the next round. Another species of men is one that I’ve conveniently labeled as the “husband men”; they’re the ones that love you instantly after reading your profile. They’re convinced that you fit the role of the wife and mother they have pre-planned for the start of their “new” life. The have their whole life mapped out including the number of kids and what they want to name them. Your job, simply play along and just “love” them back. Heck, and if you lucked out, you could land the dream house you always pictured yourself in, a BMW or better yet sports car, and access to the Gold Card…Well now having said all that this is my documented journey of the ups and downs I faced while dating in my 30s. Now I must warn you. The new thing in dating is the whole online thing. You create this long drawn out profile about yourself, leaving no details to the imagination, and you post it along with your coolest and sexiest photo in hopes that “Mr. Right” will come knocking at your mailbox door.

Well I’m no different than the masses. It seemed like a good way to weed out the undesirables and to hone in on that perfect match. So I did it too. I placed profiles on Redplanet.com, Myplace.com, SoulMingles.com, Yahoo Singles, and Match.com. Interestingly, I received the bulk of my responses from Redplanet.com, which I thought was amazing considering the fact that I wasn’t openly soliciting for love or dates on my page. All I talked about were my life goals, which were short and simple, but sweet, and the masses came calling. Most of them would say it was my smile, but if you’re smart like me then you’d know after viewing my page that is was really those two big breasts that stood out in every photo on my page. Nothing pornographic, but it’s hard to hide something quite so big.

Nevertheless I’ve met an interesting pool of men online some good, some bad, and some I just can’t categorize. This here is my tale about the wonderful world; sense the sarcasm, of online dating. And ladies, dicks come in all shapes and sizes and you can’t tell the size of the dick by the size of his hands or shoes, that’s just a myth. So it’s easier just to buy a variety box of condoms and keep a few of each size in your purse and the little nightstand by your bed. Enjoy!

Do you know what makes the game of dating so shitty? I’ll tell you what. There are no common rules of play. The guys have one set of rules and the women have another set of rules. And neither set of rules compliment the other, which gives plausible credibility to the whole notion that Men are From Mars and Women are from Venus. How then does one survive the whole dating foray? As a woman, if you sleep with a man to quick you’re considered a slut or if you take to long to give it up then you’re considered a snob, but who defines what’s too quick or too long. That’s the biggest mystery of all. Ask yourself, how you would feel, having dated Johnny for six months and then you all finally hit the sack and he turns out to be a sorry lay in the sack. That means you’ve wasted six whole months of your life for nothing. In hindsight though, had you tasted the goods in the beginning you would have known up front and you could have spent those 5 months and 6 six days nestled up with the real deal. Why is it that as woman I have to apologize for wanting to have my sexual needs satisfied? Why can’t I “get my freak on”, without my character being called into question. I carry myself like nothing but a lady at all times and I leave my I’m a freak sign at home.

Corey aka Rabbit

Talk about being careful what you wish for. After my marriage ended I wished for just two things in the next man I dated: 1.) He had to have a high sex drive and a nice size dick to please me and 2.) He had to be affectionate and loving quite often. Notice I didn’t mention anything about income or materialistic things. That should tell you just what kind of state I was in mentally. Well just a soon as I got those two little things they all went away faster than I could say ohhhhh and awwwww. Rabbit was everything I thought I needed, very sentimental and extremely energetic in the bedroom. But he was broke as hell no job and to cap things off, I’d later learn he had some serious mental issues. I’m not one to really discriminate so I thought nothing of contacting Rabbit on Redplanet although he was white rabbit and not a brown rabbit. And what do you know bam, we hit it off instantly. Some days we would converse for the whole night forgoing sleep altogether. We finally met online July 28, 2004 and on August 2nd we finally met in person over my house. Now here is where the first warning sign. [Ladies, if you’re hard up, as I was, the worst place to meet a potential suitor is your home, especially if you live alone, because you’re bound to drop those draws in a hot second flash and when you do its all over.] Now back to the story. Yes we met over my house and what transpired next, I’m sure shocked even the Lord himself. Now when he showed up at my door my common sense should have told me to pretend as if I didn’t hear the door, but desperate times, yield desperate measures and I was desperate for some loving. I wasn’t even sure he could do thangs correctly. He was a mere 5’ 7’ weighing no more than about 150 pounds, and here I was this voluptuous woman with all that.

Well, this little rabbit had some tricks up his sleeve. First he started by setting the mood, sitting down in front of me staring at me like I was a fine piece of artwork telling me just how beautiful I really was and ohhh he loved me because I was so special and sweet. Now why did he have to say all that. He knew damn well I was feeling lonely and alone hard up for some serious affection; he had to know. Well, next thing I knew, I was being guided in my own apartment towards the one room I should have made off limits: The Bedroom. Once we got in there and he laid me down it was all over. Rabbit had some moves. The man was a gentle creature and he firmly believed in doing things slow and sweet. He took the edge of my sheet and used it to massage and caress my body from head to toe drawing upon every line and crease on me. I swear it felt like all my bones had disappeared. Hell just writing about it now gives me a tingling feeling on the inside, whew. Now I’m not a fickle pickle when it comes to having sex, I’ve been around the block a few times myself, but I swear to you, to-date no one I’ve had sex with has topped Rabbit. This man truly understood the needs of a pussy. He understood how it liked to be addressed, how it liked to be caressed. He put it on me so good that I could still feel him penetrating me later that day while I was sitting at work dazed like hell. Talk about dick whipped. It was like he put a spell on my pussy. Anyway for the whole month of August we fucked everyday at least twice a day and each time it just got better and better. Ok here comes warning number two [ Now fellas, if you want to run game on a woman the best way to go about doing so is to chain fuck her really good over a few weeks time and then without notice just stop doing her completely. Now if you did it right, by the time you stop fucking her you’ll have a key to her place and access to everything she owns. Ladies I hope you got the warning in this message: No matter how good the dick is don’t give up the keys and never ever confuse lust with love because it will fuck you in the ass with no grease. And in the end you’ll lose everything including your common sense. Remember, a vibrator is a woman’s best friend during those low months. Use it to your advantage so you won’t be so hard up when you finally get the real deal] Okay, back to the story. Now, after our last tryst on September 3rd he just stopped without warning. I couldn’t understand it for the life of me how he could just stop doing something so damn good like our love-making. I mean obviously I was whipped like hell because I spent the next year and half trying to get him to do it again, blind to the fact that he was pimping the fuck out me. Spending all my money getting all the shit he needed and keeping me on my toes by walking around naked with his dick swinging left and right day and night. Do you know by the time the spell wore off I had lost not one but two apartments, assumed a pile of debt and was forced to move back home. Rabbit and I fucked one last time the first week of December, 2005 and what a disappointment, because it didn’t nearly capture the feeling that once left me paralyzed with feelings of pleasure.

Edward aka “Pipe”

Now remember I made mention of the Fuck Buddy guy earlier, well sometimes you come across a peep who totally fits the Fuck Buddy type, dick so big you just want to attack it every chance you get. Well, there comes a point where you find yourself somewhat attracted to your so-called Fuck Buddy on a level other than the mutual sexual one between the two of you. In steps The Pipe. I met him after a brief hiatus from men. After being totally fucked over by Rabbit, I had decided to break away from men for awhile to regroup and focus on other shit like shopping and just having a good time. But the pussy can only go so long without pleasure. So, after a brief hiatus I stepped back out there and that’s when I met The Pipe on Redplanet.com. Now Pipe made it known up front what his intentions were. He wasn’t looking for any walks in the park or dinner and a movie, which explains why his first message to me was “Nice pair”, pair meaning my breasts. Now Pipe’s page left nothing to the imagination he has one photo of his dick wrapped nicely in his drawers, so the smart woman immediately knows that he’s looking for someone to fuck. I think Pipe liked jacking off more than he liked pumping pussy, because before we got busy he would turn on the webcam in a jack rabbit flash. Sitting in has favorite chair steadily stroking all nine inches of his nicely shaved dick until it erupts. Now prior to him the thought of engaging in a purely sexual relationship was the furthest thing from my mind. Come on now, women don’t think like that especially not me I’m a pure romantic at heart. I love the whole adventure of dating. However, when my pussy started throbbing the minute he graced my doorsteps for the very first time I knew I had to change my thinking. Pipe wasn’t one of those drop dead gorgeous kind of guys but he was the sexiest thing that I had laid eyes on in while. The funny thing is I don’t even think he tries to be sexy; he’s just being himself. The first day he came over was our initial meeting. I call it the “meet and greet”. There was no guessing involved either; we both were very pleased with the physical prospects of each other. We engaged in some passionate kissing, talked for a bit, went outside for a hot minute so he could smoke his blunt and so we could get our drink on and right towards the end he made a move. On our way back in the house we stopped in the kitchen to engage in a little more kissing and he just whipped one of my breast out of my bra and shirt and started sucking on it like it was his own. Right at the moment I knew I had to have Pipe at least one time. If not for the fact that my mother was in the other room standing talking to her co-worker Pipe and I would have gotten busy right on the kitchen floor. But as I often say, anything worth having is worth waiting for.

Pipe had a genuine good nature about himself that I admired. We had broken chats the days after his first visit and I enjoyed double the number of webcam shows, but the intensity was building and we both knew that we needed to make a move. The one thing that puzzled me was his quiet refusal to make a more eager effort for us to have sex. Hell he had a car, correction, he had an SUV and his own place and while I don’t have my own place or car, I have the pussy. So you’d think that if I was willing to give it up that he’d swing his ass by pick me up and we’d head back to his place, not!! After our initial meeting it would be another two weeks before we knocked boots and when we finally did it was at my place of course. It was a Tuesday evening after we both got off work. I slipped out of the office early to jet home to set the mood, meaning me. I showered, set my hair to curly mode, and slipped on something black and sexy. This being my first sexual encounter in over 7 months I thought I would feel more relaxed and at ease if I had a few drinks, and that I did. By the time Pipe arrived I had a nice buzz and I felt free as a bird. Pipe walked through the door and didn’t even say hello he just started kissing me deep and taking off my clothes. The man was eager. He pulled me in the kitchen ready to knock boots in one of the kitchen chairs, but I was in the mood for something a little more ole school, so I led the anxious little puppy to the back bedroom and we whipped off those clothes and we got knee deep into the thick of things. Okay here comes warning number three [Ladies you can stop asking guys about their shoes sizes, you know the bigger the shoe size the bigger the dick, because truly the size of the dick doesn’t matter its all about technique and knowing how to operate the equipment. I don’t care if his dick is nine inches if he doesn’t know how to use it you’re not going to get the full effect of those nine inches because size does not equate to satisfaction. It’s just the difference in how wide your vaginal walls need to contract in order to grip the stick.] Okay back to the story. I just knew that sex with Pipe was going to be off the hook. I swear if not for the fact that it had been a while since I had gotten laid I probably would have made him stop. Why why, why do men continuously believe that multiple positions bring about satisfaction, all that stopping and starting messes with the flow of things. I mean the minute I start finding my rhythm he’s stopping and moving to the next position. I can’t figure out how he came, his dick spent more time out of me than it did in me. But that didn’t stop me from wanting more. I sense that with a little practice, Pipe could be a really damn good lover. It helps that we have some good conversations too. Aside from the stop and start drama the evening with him was truly romantic. He is definitely a true hearted southern man. After we had sex we came back into the family room and watched a movie then we went out by the pool had some more drinks and talked. Once we came back in I think we were both ready for round two because we headed right back to the bedroom and dropped our clothes and jumped right back into bed, but this time there would be not sex…no we just laid in the bed naked together and watched two quarters of the basketball game. I would later learn that he refrained from having sex with me again because he didn’t want to take advantage of the fact that I was a tad bit to intoxicated and besides he wanted to make sure I would remember how good it was. Well after that night I did the unthinkable. Here comes warning number four [Ladies I don’t care how much you are feeling a dude and how much you think you like him, never ever ever tell him first how you feel. We all know that the whole male female thing is nothing but the cat and mouse chasing game. Guys like to hunt and seek. They like the whole playing hard to get thing, so if you give in too quickly by declaring your undying like for him too soon, then for him the game ends and its time to move on to the next mouse]. Now back to the story, yes I made the error of telling him that I liked him in a very dramatic heartfelt way. I know you’re scratching your head asking yourself “so, no big deal”. Well yes it is a big deal in the dating game. That was like a warning sign to Pipe, “steer clear, serious chic on board”. Guys can’t deal with emotions and fucking at the same time. They need to establish one and get it mastered before they start dealing with the other. If you start off as fuck buddies then he has to develop a liking for the pussy before he gets his emotions involved. Otherwise, you’d be best served to establish the 6 month rule at the beginning of the hookup, but don’t be surprised if he never calls you. I recall Rabbit telling me, “When I meet a woman that I think I might want to have a relationship with, I’ll usually fuck her right away to make sure the ass is good and then if it is I’ll hold off on the sex and focus more on building the relationship.” I don’t knock that philosophical viewpoint. Think about it ladies, how disappointing would it be to invest all your time and energy in a dude and then six months later you all have sex and it ends up being the worst lay of your life. Wouldn’t it just be easier to sample the goods in the beginning so you don’t end up wasting your precious time; well that’s just my two cents. I saw him once more after we had sex that one evening. He had to come by to get his watch that he had left over to my house and it was a weird encounter nonetheless. As the months passed we continued to have short conversations and he continued to give me peep shows from his cam, but we never hooked up again. Its funny because of all the guys I had met he was the one that I wanted to be with more than any of them…I recently emailed him and told him my true feelings. I told him that although I was now coupled up he’ll be the one that I’ll be thinking about years from now when I’m sitting in a park with my grandkids and all of a sudden a smile forms at my lips.

Kevin aka Super Freak

There is a reason why things of past nature should be left in the past. Super Freak and I go back over 15 years. We started our sexcapdes in high school as two in love inseparable teenagers. It carried over a bit in college but ended after I got married. But then fateful event and a troubled marriage had our paths crossing once again. Its funny how when you run into a former lover and the chance that you might hook up again presents itself the two parties involved make it an obligatory habit of saying “I never stopped loving you.” It’s almost as if they two people need some sort of validation as to why they are hopelessly revisiting long lost old feelings.


David aka Puppy Love

The morning after is always a motherfucker. You say to yourself should I call or wait for him to call or should I be mad if he doesn’t call. Well that shit happened with Puppy Love. We went out for our usual weekend date, this time on Saturday night, which was more like Sunday morning since he didn’t come to get me until after midnight. We took a ride up past Gross Point Farms, along the St. Clair Shores River... He took me to several marina docks and even took me to a special place along the river when I told him that I wanted to see a real live Lighthouse. I was really enjoying our time and things were going well. That is until the “heat” started getting to us. We stood on the pier looking out at the beautiful river, taking care to be quiet so as not to scare away the fish for the several people who were there fishing. He embraced me from behind, purposely brushing my backside with his dick and with his hands he stroked my body and squeezed me tightly several times. After a good 20 minutes of that I started to feel rather light on my feet and so we retired to the car and kept riding until we came across another park along the river. There is where we unleashed the fire. He kissed me with a passionate fire and slowly took my erect breasts in his mouth and before long we were rocking that car like a boat. Hard to believe we fucked in that car for nearly two hours before I stopped things. I always tell guys don’t stop and start because the few seconds in between can bring about a lot of thinking on the part of the woman, as it did for me. I realized first that I was fucking this guy without protection and secondly I was fucking him in a car like some horny teenager. Not exactly the best way to start things off sexually. So much to his dismay I halted all action, made him get dress as did I and we started on the long silent ride back to my house. I had no doubt he was satisfied and armored. I think the constant kissing of my hand was a dead give away, but knowing that he was commitment phobic, and very much enjoying the single life gave me pause. I’m not certain why since I too was relishing the freedom that comes with being single, but I guess its an ego thing to know someone wants you more than you want them.

Even still it was pretty awkward the next day when late in the evening I saw him online. The fact that he logged on and didn’t immediately speak gave me pause, but I took the high road and spoke first and he responded several minutes later with a quick hello. The next few minutes were utter chit-chat followed by the predictable “Well I’ll talk to you later”

So we shall see what happens. In the meantime I’ll use Marcus, Don and Erin to kill time until the weekend floats around again…

I don’t care what no woman says there is a little bit of hoe in us all. Some of us choose to hold it in, while the rest of us simply fall victim to the throbbing between our legs. As you might have guessed, I too feel victim to that throbbing sensation and the hoe in me was unleashed like a dragon, which explains why I posted a profile on a site called onlinebootycall. Yes you heard me right; this site is not for the faint at heart, because these people on this site are really in search of their next booty-no-strings-attached sexual partner. When you stop and think about it though, there’s some thing mysteriously interesting about individuals who are so aroused by sex that they find themselves willing to rock the streets with a total stranger, even in these times when STDs are stronger than Hulk Hogan and when AIDS is lurking like a thief in the night, especially in the African American community. Nevertheless, people flock to this site with one thing in mind SEX. I too flocked for the same thing, never quite sure if I would really or could really go through with stranger sex, but I did and the outcome was, hmmm, well you be the judge.

Gerald aka Just Friends

Now don’t let the name fool you. Sure Just Friends was all talk but some of that talking was backed up with pretty decent results. I met Just Friends on that site I mentioned, onlinebootycall. He wasn’t exactly Don Juan but the way I saw it he was a walking dick and something to please my desire. The other thing I liked about him is that I could be totally me without all the hang-ups. I would learn later through him about the true meaning of love and that unlike what most of thinks it truly has nothing to do with a person’s looks. We had a strange type of relationship. The first day I met him I wanted to puke right in front of him. He was nothing like the picture he showed me and he seemed like he was a bit retarded, but even still something in me just told me to ahead. Well, he picks me up in his car and we drive back to his place. On the way there I was having all kinds of eerie thoughts and my stomach was twisting in knots. Yet that still did not deter me from wanting to go. Once we got there I thought he was a squatter, you know those homeless folks that take up residence in empty houses, because the house looked anything but occupied, shit was every where and it just freaked me out. When we got up to his room we started taking our clothes off so we could fuck but then I saw his body. My attention wasn’t drawn to the fact that he was kind of buff, which I assumed was an indication that he lifted weights at some time, nor was my focus on the fact that he had a nice size dick. No, my attention was on the fact that his body was covered in some of the most grossly scars I had ever seen in my life. It was just nasty as fuck and add to the fact that somehow he couldn’t seem to stay hard with the condom on. I just couldn’t do it and so I told him to take me home..."






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