Single and Happy in Cali: 50 First Dates

2:20 PM

(pic source: futuramafanon.wikia.com)

I would love to share my most recent singlescapade...but I don't screw and tell. So please give a warm SAH welcome to my guest blogger who wants to share how she is single and happy on the West Coast.

*does a Crip walk back to bed*



50 First Dates

Says the guest blogger: "I had just as much fun on ___.com as you did lol"
My old job essentially closed down from Christmas to New Years, so I took the 10 days to go visit family and friends in Los Angeles/Orange County.  I had known it was coming up, so I made dates from ___.com for while I was there.   Single means testing the pool, right?   

I met #1 on my way into town.  He was incredibly beautiful, but a bit of a shy nerd (you know the type).  I picked him up from the dentist where he had had emergency surgery.  We went to dinner and movies at the mall.  Watched Avatar 3D.  It was good, but we spent most of the time kissing, so I don't really remember much about it.  We left there and went back to his place.  Sat and watched some nonsense on the TV.   Went to the room and had some fairly decent sex.  He had fantastic size, but didn't really know what to do with it.  I rolled over afterwards (why was I still dressed?) and tried to fall asleep.  It was 3am, after all, and I'd worked all day, driven down, had a date, had sex, blah blah blah.  At 3:15 he's nudging me that it's time to leave.  I told him I was too tired and was going to crash if he sent me on my way at that point.  I was over an hour from where I was staying, there was no way.  He wasn't happy.  At all.  I ignored him, rolled over, and went to sleep.
Met #2 on my first full day in LA.  Originally set to meet up at 8pm... wound up being closer to 10 by the time he was ready.  We were both in to BDSM.  I love pain, he loves dishing it out.  We met at his place in Long Beach.  I wore a black corset and 6" heels.  We went out for pizza, then back to his house to get down to business.  He wrapped rope around my neck till my eyes were bugging out - literally.  When he got worried for my health, he took it off, made me strip, and put clothespins all over me.  I couldn't wait for him to leave the room so I could take the two most painful ones off.  (note to self:  do not put clothespins on pierced nipples - it'll tear the piercing!).  As the night progressed, he beat me with whips, canes and paddles.  NONE of those hurt as bad as the computer power cord.  You know the thick one that connects your monitor to tower?  P.A.I.N.F.U.L!!!  Six or seven hours later we were both tired.  I was a sobbing snotty mess.  He was disgusted with it.  By the time I got up a few hours later to go home, I was black and... well, mostly black and purple from my neck to my knees.

That night I met #3 - a beautiful dark chocolate color with a british accent *swoon*.  He is a gold trader by day, and a music producer by  night.  He took me to a fantastic thai restaurant for dinner in downtown LA.  We had so much in common, great communication, etc.  He asked if I was ready to go home, or if I wanted to spend more time with him.  Naturally, I chose him.  We went to his place in north LA and started watching a movie.  He started kissing me and undressing me.  Now, remember, I had incredible bruises, welts and very obvious beat marks all across my backside.  I would have been happy with missionary that time around, but nooooooooo.  He wanted ass.  I didn't.  But I went to the bathroom and washed up anyways.  That was OK.... until he wanted head, and me to fuck his ass with my fingers at the same time.  WTF???  Um... never done it, but OK.  He kept complaining that I wasn't doing it right.  I had told him I'd never done it before, but I guess that didn't connect.... he complained that my nails were cutting him.  

I took a day or two off, then met #4 in far east LA.  I was not attracted AT ALL when I met him in person.  I had to drive over an hour in pouring rain to go meet him, and I'm terrified of the rain.  I met him at a Constellation Dollars.  He never offered me a drink, but sat there for a good hour talking before he said lets get out of here.  So we went to the park next door.  I didn't want to really touch him, but he practically sat on top of me when we sat at the picnic table.  During that hour conversation (remember, it's raining, and the temp is going DOWN), I learned he's a pot-head, his brothers and father are potheads, he lives with his parents, and is unemployed.  Now, the economy being what it is, I can take almost all of that, but he wasn't even TRYING to get a job.  THAT I have an issue with!  I was ready to go, so I got back in the car, where he put the moves on and tried to kiss.  I didn't know how to say no at the time, so I just kinda sat there....he wasn't bad at it, but without any chemistry, I didn't see a need to try.

As I was leaving there, #5 called.  I hadn't really been feelin him, but wanted to make sure.  He found out where I was and told me to stay put, he'd be there in 5 minutes.  Up rolls Drake.  lol seriously, he looks EXACTLY like Drake.  Pretty, light-skinned, flat nose.... BEAUTIFUL eyes.  We walked and talked, ate lunch, walked some more.  When I decided to leave, we started kissing, and... well, five hours later my friends are asking where I am, did I get eaten, etc.  I finally break away and go to my friends.  I stayed home that night and met a potential 6th (her nephew), but was so tired, I didn't put much effort into it.  I did the girlfriends thing for a couple nights, then #5 calls me at 4:30 in the morning (waking me up!) and says he's outside my door (HOW THE FUCK DID HE FIND ME?!?) and wanted to spend more time with me.  I told him I couldn't possibly make it out until 6 or 7 when my friend woke up.  He actually parked outside that whole time and waited.  When I got ready, we went to McD's for coffee, then to a park in the South Central hood for 4 or 5 more hours.  At this point, I'd made up my mind about him.  Somehow, he'd neglected to brush his teeth for a few... days?  Months?  I don't know, but I was disgusted.  I couldn't get him to NOT kiss me, no matter what.  Thankfully, I couldn't taste funk, only smell it.  I finally got away so I could go to some other friends place.  

More of the remaining 45 dates are coming soon (most will be kept for the book "Single and Happy in Cali" lol).  Honestly, one or two cancelled, or I cancelled on them, so they're not included in the mix.  I literally had about 10-12 lined up for my 8 days in town.  All of these guys were one dayer/nighters only (#5 tried for more, but when he went stalkerish, I had to be done).

Are you SAH in your city or state? Get at me on Twitter.

 






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1 comments

  1. Aquarius ChocolateNovember 8, 2011 at 2:29 PM

    From my Cali guest blogger: "I forgot to give my explanation (to date #2) for the bruises! Dude never asked, but I just made a comment that my niece and I were playing Fencing with sticks in the backyard, and I lost..."

    ReplyDelete