The newbie (Please don't read if you are under 18 or offended by sexually oriented content)

3:37 PM

I just knew by now I'd be whoring it up by now. The warm nights and sweaty days seem to scream "sex, sex, sex".

Maybe it's just me. *blushing*

But I'z an effing lady (for once) so last night I found myself on the iPhone searching for the nearest sex shop. Not willing to drive 10 minutes to Concord, I chose to love the ones I'm with and give them some new power. And there I sat  last night in the car when Keith Sweat began asking me how deep my love is.

It's enough to run through a pack of batteries. Sure, they were an "off brand", but still.

So I get to a major drug store for the double and triple A's for my toys and there she stood near the medicine aisle: one personal massager, hanging around by her lonesome waiting for me to grab her. And I say 'her", because the package was laced with a woman posing in a white camisole and panties like she is in need of some.  I'm pretty sure the drugstore staff know damn well what folks are doing with these massagers, they are doing themselves. Not their knees, lower back or anything else the instructions are suggesting. Keep it a hunnid. This is new lovin' for ten bucks. Cool.

I grab the last massager and batteries for the oldies but goodies. Make it home and...like I'm about to get into details here!  LMAO!

I will say that the newbie toy was a waste of money though. Even for its intended usage! So it was back to the tried and true. Lesson learned: Don't ever forget the ones who were with you from the beginning. In closing, please enjoy this bliz-zast from the piz-zast:

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