Why I’m Not Married

11:46 AM

By now most of you have read – or have witnessed the circulation of – “Why You’re Not Married”, an article crafted by TV writer Tracy McMillan, and a posting (not so surprisingly) found on HuffPo.

(Ms. Arianna, really? I mean last week, you’d announced buying 90s dial-up internet ruler AOL and you follow up with an another overdone “singles” rant? *big sigh*)

My first thought about the posting: who on earth does Terry McMillan think she is? She got it all wrong. (Unless you call spending ample time with a now-out-of-the-closet-although-everyone-knew-but-her kind of man, getting it right.) Yes I'm judging her. Hmp.

Thankfully I noticed I had the wrong McMillan. Ooopsie. But who, for that matter, gave Tracy McMillan the go-ahead to list reasons for women not being married? Being hitched three times only proves one thing in my mind: She needs to be on the receiving end of all marriage-related advice. I, too am in no position to tell others what they are doing wrong, and my parents have been happily married for almost 40 years man!

What I can do, however, is explain to mr four readers why Ty and perhaps others like me are not walking down aisles. How about we (I’m not referring to myself, per se. lol) were “marriage ready”? Perhaps we cut off "friends", shared everything to no end, and were honest with our exes almost to a fault. Meanwhile the others messed things up?  

I promise, I’m not writing about myself. But what if we were to decide for once to not let a seasoned writer and admitted wife-fail tell us what we are doing wrong? I think it would go a lil’ something like this:

1. The other party gets locked up. I don't do jailhouse love.
2. The other party loses employment*. Employment status shouldn't matter, but...c'mon son.
3. You find out something about the partner that leaves you stunned. *Enters Terry McMillan's story*
4. You trust your gut. Don’t discount the power of intuition. If you don’t know what intuition is, put the bridal  mags down for five minutes, and read a real book!
5.  The other party strongly dislikes family. Would you go to a hair braiding salon, where everyone working there is anti-chemical treatments, and ask for a relaxer? Of course not. (For those who don't get it, just trust me, you do not want to ask for a relaxer in a braid shop.) So, why would you choose to launch a family with an anti-family person? 
6. The other party barely discusses a future with you in it. Uh...hello?

Again, don’t speculate for a freaking minute, that I am using this space to call out my own situation. Now, if I were ever asked to give an answer as to why I am no longer engaged: It is because I have allowed my Lord and Savior to intervene into my life. I clearly was getting it all wrong. Thanks, God. :)

*Anyone wants to buy a house? Just asking. LOL!

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